Leading with Heart and Head: Why Emotion in Leadership is a Strength, Not a Weakness.

"The best leaders blend their heart and their head, using emotion to connect and logic to direct." – Daniel Goleman

For years, leadership has been framed as a purely rational pursuit. Leaders are often expected to be logical, composed, and unwavering. Emotion? That’s often dismissed as a weakness, especially in high-pressure environments.

Yet, stepping into a senior leadership or executive role for the first time can be an emotional whirlwind—fear, frustration, and imposter syndrome. While the world is shifting, outdated narratives persist. We’re told to "lead without emotion," reinforced by public figures like Mark Zuckerberg, who promote rigid, detached leadership ideals.

However, research shows that this mindset holds leaders back. Exceptional leadership isn’t about eliminating emotion but using it wisely. It means knowing when to show vulnerability and when to hold your ground. It’s about balancing and ensuring your emotions inform, not overwhelm your decisions.

Leadership isn’t about being soft. It’s not about flowers, cuddles, and chocolates (although I am partial to all three). It’s about authenticity, trust, and emotional intelligence, leveraging both heart and head to create impact, build strong teams, and drive results. When used effectively, emotion is a leader’s greatest asset.

My Experience: Gravitas vs. Authenticity

I’ve been there. One boss once told me I needed “more gravitas” and a “stronger, less emotional presence.” And sure, there was some truth in that. I worked on my confidence and presence. But my honest, open, and straightforward approach also built strong teams and powerful networks, leading to award wins, happy teams, and me being happy and fulfilled.

Later in my career, I worked for someone with zero empathy who showed no emotions. I was told I needed to be "more resilient," to stop displaying emotion, and that my career might suffer if I didn’t. At the same time, I won an award for my communication skills, built a high-performing team, was asked to speak at industry events, and was recognised by senior leadership for my skills and ability to deliver strategic objectives.

I don’t mind a challenge, but it's soul-destroying when seasoned leaders give advice that essentially tells people to erase their authenticity. Sadly, this advice is often dished out to new senior leaders as they make their way up the ladder. It breeds imposter syndrome, stifles confidence, and drains the joy out of leadership. It makes you wonder why they do it, but that’s a topic for another day!

The Problem with Emotionless Leadership

Leaders who suppress emotion risk becoming detached, unrelatable, and ineffective. The fallout can be significant:

• Lower engagement and trust – Employees don’t want to work for robots. Suppressing emotion creates distance and weakens trust. Research from Gallup shows that employees are far more engaged when they feel their leader genuinely cares about them as people.

• Poor decision-making – Emotions provide valuable insights. Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio found that decision-making is impaired when emotions are removed from the process. Ignoring them can lead to cold, transactional decisions that lack human insight.

• Burnout and stress – Bottling emotions doesn’t make them disappear; it builds pressure until it spills over in unhealthy ways. Studies show leaders who suppress emotions experience higher stress, leading to burnout and impaired performance.

• A lack of diversity and inclusion – When leadership expectations favour a narrow, traditional style, those who lead differently, especially women and underrepresented groups, are pushed out or dismissed. Psychological safety and diverse leadership styles are essential for innovation and retention.

When managed well, the best leaders understand that emotions are an asset, not a liability. I wrote about this in another blog called Leading Through Emotion as a NEW Leader.

How to Use Emotion to Lead Effectively

Recognising, understanding, and accepting your emotions is the first step. Let’s be honest; emotions are normal! And they'll be heightened if you’re out of your comfort zone (as many new leaders are). Emotional intelligence helps you stay self-aware, regulate your responses, and create psychologically safe workplaces.

Empathy, by the way, is not about being soft. It’s about genuinely listening and responding to your team’s needs. A leader who understands their team’s challenges and listens deeply will always build stronger engagement and loyalty.

Great leaders balance emotion with logic. Passion inspires, but structure moves things forward. Sharing struggles and frustrations in a measured, authentic way makes you human and relatable. This doesn’t mean offloading your emotions onto your team but being open when appropriate.

The Benefits of Emotionally Intelligent Leadership

• Higher motivation and engagement – Gallup’s research confirms that employees are significantly more motivated when they feel their leader genuinely cares. Engaged employees are 23% more productive.

• Better decision-making – Antonio Damasio’s studies show that emotions are critical in assessing risks and making well-rounded decisions.

• Greater resilience in uncertainty – The Centre for Creative Leadership found that emotionally intelligent leaders are 22% more resilient in times of crisis.

• Stronger, high-performing teams – Google’s Project Aristotle found that psychological safety—the ability to express emotions and opinions without fear—is the key to high-performing teams.

• Leadership becomes more enjoyable – When you lead with authenticity, leadership becomes more fulfilling and fun. You don’t have to manage a façade; you’ll build deeper relationships, feel more confident, and enjoy the journey.

  
  

The strongest leaders are not those who suppress emotion but those who use it wisely. Blending heart and head, emotion and logic, separates good leaders from great ones.

So, instead of fearing emotion, embrace it. When used well, emotion is one of the most influential leadership tools.

I’d love to help you navigate your leadership journey, define your leadership style, and unleash your emotional intelligence.

📞 Call me on 07962 101879📧 Email me at lila@lilapleban.com

Let’s turn emotions into your leadership superpower.

And if you need more convincing, just Google it; plenty of research will back this up.