Coaching from My Kitchen: Finding Your Inner Strength and Building Confidence

Welcome to Coaching from My Kitchen! This January, I'm diving into one of my clients' most frequently requested topics: Building Confidence. That tricky little word can make or break how we feel about ourselves, and it doesn't always look the way you might expect.

I'm Lila, an experienced leadership and personal coach. I'm here to share insights, spark reflections, and help you grow. Together, we'll explore confidence—not just the surface-level kind, but the deep, authentic confidence that transforms how you show up in the world.

Reflecting on Building Confidence

In my last session, I talked about the many faces of confidence and invited you to reflect on a time when you felt truly confident. Looking back is a powerful way to uncover what fuels that feeling. Today, let's focus on how you show up and where you draw your confidence.

Confidence Is Personal

One of the most important things to remember is that we're all different. We have unique personalities and preferences, gain energy differently, and find confidence through various sources. This is what makes people fascinating; it's why we form friendships and partnerships and occasionally clash with others.

So, my question to you is this: Where do you get your energy and confidence, and do you prioritise them above everything else?

Here's my challenge: Know what fuels your confidence and prioritise it. 

When energised and fulfilled, we can show up more confidently at work, home, or in general.

My Confidence Journey

You might assume I'm an extremely confident person—and on the surface, that's probably true. But the reality is that I've struggled with confidence throughout my life and have often had to dig deep to show up as a leader and coach.

It wasn't until I worked with my coach, Graham, that I genuinely discovered where I draw my energy from and learned to prioritise it.

Here's what fuels me; these are my top three, and there are more:

1. Exercise: Ironically, I'm a fully qualified fitness coach and personal trainer, a passion I pursued years ago. But over time, I replaced exercise with work, work, and more work. While that helped me achieve professional success, it took a toll on my self-confidence, well-being, and body.

When I exercise, I feel more confident on every level; it's that simple. So now, I make it a daily habit. Sometimes, it's a short walk; other times, it's an intense session on my Peloton. The key is consistency; I feel it deeply when I don't prioritise it.

2. Learning: I have a natural curiosity and a drive to learn and grow, whether through studying, reading, or meaningful conversations with my husband about politics, news, and life’s celebrations. I thrive on solving problems, exchanging ideas, and challenging my thinking.

   When surrounded by negativity or toxic conversations, I quickly lose energy. I prioritise people and discussions that inspire me; they’re essential for my focus and well-being.

   And while my thought processes might seem chaotic at times, I’ve learned to embrace them. They’re uniquely mine, and I no longer worry about how they’re perceived.

3. Relaxing: I also gain energy from slowing down. Knitting, reading fiction, cuddling on the sofa with my lurcher Saffie, or watching a cheesy film are all ways to relax. These moments help me recharge and show up more confidently.

   
   

Your Confidence Formula

Your sources of energy and confidence will likely look very different from mine—and that's the beauty of it. My clients often tell me they find confidence in their children, their homes, travelling, painting, debating, public speaking, or even riding rollercoasters.

So, let me ask you:

1. Where do you gain energy and confidence?

2. How do these things relate to your reflections from the last video, where you looked back at a time you felt confident?

3. How high are these things on your priority list right now?

4. What else are you noticing about what you are learning and feeling?

   
   

Take some time to reflect on these questions. Find a quiet spot and dig deep—you might be surprised at what you discover about yourself.

Let's Unlock Your Confidence

In next week's session, we'll explore what undermines confidence and how to build strength from those experiences.

Please get in touch with me if you'd like to discuss how coaching could help you build lasting confidence and self-belief. Call me on 07962 101879, email me at lila@lilapleban.com, or visit lilapleban.com.

Here's to a confident, self-assured future—see you soon!