Coaching from my kitchen: Dealing with Knockbacks

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Coaching from My Kitchen! This January, I’m focusing on building confidence, the deep, authentic kind that comes from within.

Today, I want to talk about something that affects all of us: dealing with knockbacks.

Knockbacks Happen to Everyone

Knockbacks can be hard. Whether it’s a rejection, a career setback, or that familiar voice of your inner critic saying, “You’re not good enough,” these moments can shake us. But here’s the truth: while we can’t always control what happens, we can absolutely control how we respond.

Confidence isn’t about never falling; it’s about trusting yourself to rise again, no matter how many times you stumble. And to help you do just that, I want to share three practical steps to bounce back and shift your mindset when setbacks hit.

Feel It, But Don’t Let It Define You

When life knocks you down, it’s okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or disheartened. Take time to sit with those emotions—they’re valid.

But here’s the key: don’t let that moment define who you are or your capabilities. This setback is just a chapter in your story, not the whole narrative.

Reframe Negative Thoughts

Your inner critic loves to show up in tough times. It might whisper things like:

• “I’ve failed.”

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I can't do that.”

But here’s a question to ask yourself: What’s another way to look at this?

Try reframing those thoughts:

• Instead of “I’ve failed,” think: “I’ve learned something valuable for next time.”

• Instead of “I’m not good enough,” say: “I’m growing, and this is part of the process.”

• Instead of “I can't do that,” ask yourself: “What if I can do this.”

Shifting your perspective helps you create a more empowering story, one that builds you up rather than tears you down.

Focus on Possibilities

Setbacks can make it hard to see beyond the pain or disappointment. But every challenge carries the seeds of opportunity. Ask yourself:

• What does this moment make possible?

• How can I use this experience to grow stronger or wiser?

Acknowledging challenges doesn’t mean ignoring them—it means recognising them while choosing to also see opportunities.

Take One Small Action

Confidence grows through action, not just thinking. What’s one small thing you can do today to move forward?

It could be as simple as reaching out to someone for support, writing down a plan, or practising self-care. Small, consistent steps build resilience and, over time, lead to big change.

Self-Reflection: How Do You Talk to Yourself?

Confidence is built in the way we speak to ourselves after a setback. So here’s something to reflect on:

• How do you talk to yourself when things don’t go as planned?

• What’s one negative thought you can reframe into something more empowering?

I’d love to hear your reflections! Share them in the comments below or send me a message. I’d love to know what resonates with you.

Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This

Remember: confidence isn’t about being unshakable; it’s about building the strength to rise again and again.

If you would like to learn more about how coaching could help you, please call me on 07962 101879, email or email me lila@lilapleban.com.

Until next time on Coaching from My Kitchen, trust yourself, reframe the tough moments, and take those small steps forward. You’ve got this.